So much wisdom in this. It's hard NOT to try to broker a "peace" when a) it's been part of your job for years (as it has mine) and b) when you are a perfectionist pleaser-type... lol. There's a Stack called The Anxious Overachiever that talks a great deal about Family Systems and how we "overfunction" for each other that echoes much of this... I don't think I could survive without it. 😂
It’s hard to give up a vision of family togetherness, but the armchair and its occupant speak the truth! If the sis with the noxious mate eventually goes solo, her truth-telling sibling will be the one she trusts most. Who knows what’s in the future? Courage, mum!
Right?? I learned my lesson the hard way. Years ago, I told one of my son's I didn't think the girl he was dating at the time was right for him. I think the relationship lasted longer because I opened my big mouth and he was so stubborn he didn't want me to be right!
I have an intractable family problem for which I can do nothing to make a change. I was given similar advice: the problem is not mine to solve. The solution is in another person’s hands. As hard as it is to accept that advice, it’s the only sane choice.
This is gold.
So wise Kim. So very wise.
I have to say this is my favorite feature of yours. I always learn something.
Thanks for bringing this one to the surface Kim - Battling Egos are such a huge part of falling out spells.
So much wisdom in this. It's hard NOT to try to broker a "peace" when a) it's been part of your job for years (as it has mine) and b) when you are a perfectionist pleaser-type... lol. There's a Stack called The Anxious Overachiever that talks a great deal about Family Systems and how we "overfunction" for each other that echoes much of this... I don't think I could survive without it. 😂
I'll have to check it out! I've got three adult children and depending on the day/month/year one or the other isn't talking to one or the other.🤷🏼♀️
Lol, they all love that I can't talk. Here's the link... https://theanxiousoverachiever.substack.com/
It’s hard to give up a vision of family togetherness, but the armchair and its occupant speak the truth! If the sis with the noxious mate eventually goes solo, her truth-telling sibling will be the one she trusts most. Who knows what’s in the future? Courage, mum!
Right?? I learned my lesson the hard way. Years ago, I told one of my son's I didn't think the girl he was dating at the time was right for him. I think the relationship lasted longer because I opened my big mouth and he was so stubborn he didn't want me to be right!
Deja vu - I have a sister/daughter with the same dynamics and it is so hard for my sister to just let it go. And the crummy relationship never ends.
Ugh. Hopefully it just needed to run its course regardless of maternal advice.
I have an intractable family problem for which I can do nothing to make a change. I was given similar advice: the problem is not mine to solve. The solution is in another person’s hands. As hard as it is to accept that advice, it’s the only sane choice.
I love this feature. Great advice. 🙏🥰