Thank you for this reminder. My meditations remind me to feel awe and gratitude but it's tough to keep it with me all day.
I try to feel awe in what might seem mundane-- (okay don't laugh but I literally say this to myself) Someone designed that car wash! Someone really thought about the structure and comfort of my office chair (but not my skinny butt that doesn't quite fit), people spent years testing my thyroid medication...
How can I not laugh?!! You always make me laugh Carissa. :) But, this is brilliant. It truly is being grateful for the small things in life to a whole new level. One most of us never even think about! lol. It's perfect.
I can’t add much to what you said, except thank you. My experience tracks exactly with yours. When I stopped working because I had nothing else to give, the sense of directionless and life without purpose were as bad as the PTSD symptoms. In my misery, I had to build a whole new life for myself and somehow hit pure gold. The travail was, after everything, the shortest route to a better life.
"The travail was, after everything, the shortest route to a better life."
Isn't this the truth?! It feels like so long as you're going through it, but thank goodness for it in order to get where we've gotten to. I appreciate you and am really grateful to have found a kindred soul. It really helps to know, despite our vastly different experiences in how we came to PTSD, that the effects and recovery are so similar. Definitely feel like I'm in good company with you Switter.
Ah, beautiful Caitlin. You just reminded me when the sun is going down at our place, it hits the boats in the marina nearby and it casts them in this golden glow too. It's magical.
I experience joy every single day when I arrive at the pond with my dog after an arduous hike, sit on an old glacial rock, and watch him paddle into the glassy water. Nothing is more peaceful!
I love this. I had this yesterday up in the mountains at my dad's where we are clearing out his ranch... Woo-woo CW: The wind slicing through the old growth trees amid wild shafts of light is something I hadn't experienced for so long being down in the city. I felt their immensity without feeling unsafe. I felt them calling on me to breathe again... all after so many anxious days. Glorious.
I had a moment of awe on Wednesday. After writing a substack on two experiences with little bats - one rabid, one just lost - I went to Aldi's to shop. A lady in the parking lot gave me her cart to return, and waved away my attempt to give her a quarter. When I linked the carts together and her quarter popped out, I turned it over and looked at the back. Two bats! A mother and a baby. I've never seen bats on a quarter. And I hadn't thought about bats in years before writing this week. Synchronicity, baby! And awe. https://rightfootforward.substack.com/p/bats-in-the-belfry-paintings-to-goodwill
Yesterday I was outside just as the evening primrose was opening. All day you can see the buds that are ready, and suddenly they burst open and gently but swiftly open all the way. It’s like watching a time lapse photo, faster than you expect. The ants and bees are ready. I race them for the first sniff.
I can relate to the effort it takes to stop planning and goal-setting. I still do it - but less.
I'm doing the slow weekly read of Hilary Mantel's trilogy led by Simon Haisell and each week I experience awe at Mantel's talent as a writer and Simon's creation of a community of readers.
You remind me of when I read Elena Ferrante's My Beautiful Friend. Shock and awe at her writing. I know you're not a fan, but I was happily surprised to see it made it as the No. 1 book on the NYT's 100 best books series they ran recently. ;)
Thank you for this reminder. My meditations remind me to feel awe and gratitude but it's tough to keep it with me all day.
I try to feel awe in what might seem mundane-- (okay don't laugh but I literally say this to myself) Someone designed that car wash! Someone really thought about the structure and comfort of my office chair (but not my skinny butt that doesn't quite fit), people spent years testing my thyroid medication...
How can I not laugh?!! You always make me laugh Carissa. :) But, this is brilliant. It truly is being grateful for the small things in life to a whole new level. One most of us never even think about! lol. It's perfect.
I can’t add much to what you said, except thank you. My experience tracks exactly with yours. When I stopped working because I had nothing else to give, the sense of directionless and life without purpose were as bad as the PTSD symptoms. In my misery, I had to build a whole new life for myself and somehow hit pure gold. The travail was, after everything, the shortest route to a better life.
"The travail was, after everything, the shortest route to a better life."
Isn't this the truth?! It feels like so long as you're going through it, but thank goodness for it in order to get where we've gotten to. I appreciate you and am really grateful to have found a kindred soul. It really helps to know, despite our vastly different experiences in how we came to PTSD, that the effects and recovery are so similar. Definitely feel like I'm in good company with you Switter.
Love this, Kim. I experience awe when the sunlight comes through the top of my window and makes my altar figurines / elements glow.
Ah, beautiful Caitlin. You just reminded me when the sun is going down at our place, it hits the boats in the marina nearby and it casts them in this golden glow too. It's magical.
I experience joy every single day when I arrive at the pond with my dog after an arduous hike, sit on an old glacial rock, and watch him paddle into the glassy water. Nothing is more peaceful!
I love this Wendy!
I love this. I had this yesterday up in the mountains at my dad's where we are clearing out his ranch... Woo-woo CW: The wind slicing through the old growth trees amid wild shafts of light is something I hadn't experienced for so long being down in the city. I felt their immensity without feeling unsafe. I felt them calling on me to breathe again... all after so many anxious days. Glorious.
I had a moment of awe on Wednesday. After writing a substack on two experiences with little bats - one rabid, one just lost - I went to Aldi's to shop. A lady in the parking lot gave me her cart to return, and waved away my attempt to give her a quarter. When I linked the carts together and her quarter popped out, I turned it over and looked at the back. Two bats! A mother and a baby. I've never seen bats on a quarter. And I hadn't thought about bats in years before writing this week. Synchronicity, baby! And awe. https://rightfootforward.substack.com/p/bats-in-the-belfry-paintings-to-goodwill
Yesterday I was outside just as the evening primrose was opening. All day you can see the buds that are ready, and suddenly they burst open and gently but swiftly open all the way. It’s like watching a time lapse photo, faster than you expect. The ants and bees are ready. I race them for the first sniff.
I can relate to the effort it takes to stop planning and goal-setting. I still do it - but less.
Reading _Alive Together_ out loud for the beauty of this poetry by Mueller.
I’m going to check it out Mary!
I'm doing the slow weekly read of Hilary Mantel's trilogy led by Simon Haisell and each week I experience awe at Mantel's talent as a writer and Simon's creation of a community of readers.
You remind me of when I read Elena Ferrante's My Beautiful Friend. Shock and awe at her writing. I know you're not a fan, but I was happily surprised to see it made it as the No. 1 book on the NYT's 100 best books series they ran recently. ;)
it's always waiting for me as a second chance.