The Secret to Better Conversations: Adapting to Personality Colours

Have you ever struggled to communicate effectively with someone, despite your best efforts?

The breakthrough I needed came during a leadership retreat several years ago. As a newly minted CEO eager for professional development, I found myself in an unfamiliar, yet refreshing position—not leading, but learning.

Our facilitator, a dynamic business coach, introduced us to the Nova Profile—a tool that reveals both a person's "natural style" (their true nature) and "adapted style" (how they present themselves socially).

Unlike the personality quizzes I'd encountered in Seventeen or Glamour magazines as a teenager, this was my first formal introduction to a professional assessment tool after decades in the workforce.

The Nova Profile categorizes personality types using four colours: blue, red, green, and yellow.

Each colour represents distinct communication preferences and working styles. After reviewing the options, I instinctively knew which colour would dominate my profile.

What I didn't anticipate was how this simple colour-coding would transform my understanding of human interaction.

ADAPT YOUR COMMUNICATION STYLE

Typically, you take these types of tests and it spits out information about you—your personality type, what your dominant traits are, what areas you need to improve, etc. With the Nova Profile, it takes it a few steps further.

What I learned at this retreat was HOW TO BETTER COMMUNICATE with OTHER personality trait types. It was one of those moments where your mind suddenly opens up and the lightbulb goes on. All of a sudden, you see the world through a different lens. A very colourful one!

It felt like a magic trick. So simple. You were either blue, red, green or yellow. And the person you were with was one of those colours, and depending on which colour, they were going to receive you and your words a certain way, and vice versa.

But, the big ‘aha’ is when you look at how you can adapt to know and understand others better. We focus so much on ourselves and our own styles, but the biggest reward is when we’re able to adapt, so that we can better interact with others and ourselves in any given situation.

Let me give you an example. After taking the test, in my adapted state (ie work environment), I am predominantly RED.

According to the handy chart we received, some of my traits include: 🟥

· Takes resolute action and makes fast decisions

· Looks for the greatest amount of freedom to manage herself and others

· Likes competition and control. Doesn’t like inactivity

· Does not have much regard for others’ feelings, ways of thinking or advice

· Works quickly and on her own

· Is good at making decisions

· Result oriented Likes taking risks

· Cold. Independent. Rational

So, in my adapted state, I’m a get shit done kind of person. I don’t take a lot of time for small talk and when I’m meeting with someone, I like to dive right in and get down to business.

That’s great, for me and anyone else who might be a red. But, what if you’re a green and you’re at this meeting?

Personality traits of GREEN include: 🟩

· Methodical and reliable

· Likes personalized relations

· Does not like conflicts. Is affective

· Is prudent towards taking action and making decisions

· Looks for security and a feeling of belonging. Works in teams

· Lends support and listens to others. Reinforces cohesion

· Is able to obtain support from others

· Is a good advisor

Can you see how the different traits could make for an uncomfortable meeting or conversation with this person?

TRYING IT ON FOR SIZE

During one of the breakout sessions at this retreat we were paired up with someone of a different colour than us. We were encouraged to be vulnerable and share a specific work situation or person that was causing us a problem. Then, putting ourselves in their shoes, and in a non-threatening environment, we could explain to each other how we saw the situation—from our “colour-type” personality.

In my partner’s case, she was wanting a promotion and was uncertain as to why she wasn’t receiving one. She was ‘doing all the right things,’ everything that was asked of her. But, when she went to a meeting with her boss, she became quiet, nervous and could never adequately explain what was on her mind. She didn’t feel her boss was open to listening to her. Her colour was green. I was red. No doubt, similar to her boss.

We were able to share with each other, how as a red person, I would want (more likely expect) her to lay out the facts, the concrete details as to why she was deserving and ready for a promotion, be concise, confident and to the point.

She was able to share what she would want and expect—to feel comfortable and less formal. She needed time to be in conversation—not just about work. For the person to be interested in her as a person, not just her tasks completed.

We then had to role play and try on how to adapt our styles to meet with and communicate with our respective colours. I would have to take my time, be friendly and not rush them. She would have to be more succinct and get to the point.

The big revelation for both of us, was that there wasn’t anything personal being attributed to the other person, it was just our styles and ways of being. Once we understood what was needed from the other, we could adapt to our environment and not be resentful or frustrated that the communication wasn’t happening the way we expected it to.

Using the information below, we then practiced how to better speak to each other. (It reminded me of the parenting book, “How to Talk so Kids will Listen, and Listen so Kids will Talk.”)¹

ROUNDING OUT THE COLOURS

The other personality styles include BLUE: 🟦

· Rigorous, is interested in details

· Likes organization and structure

· Thinks things over and makes informed decisions

· Is objective, analytic and task-oriented, is introverted

· Wants to be accurate. Is dependent on collected information

· Prefers a structured and regulatory environment

· Good at analyzing problems

· Doesn’t like being involved

Personality traits of YELLOW include: 🟨

· Jumps from one activity to another

· Doesn’t like to be alone. Is extroverted

· Has a tendency of exaggerating and generalizing

· Is fast and active in the work he does with others

· Has a tendency of dreaming and pulling others into his/her dreams

· Has a knack for spontaneous action and decisions. Is innovative

· Looks for pleasure, esteem and recognition

· Is good at influencing

· Likes to be involved

· Boundless optimism

FROM FRUSTRATION TO FUN

One of the women I worked with is yellow. She is a sunny, bright yellow. When we got together for work, I would want to dive right in, roll up my sleeves and get to work. She would want to take time to ‘hold space’ and talk about life stuff.

It was an exercise in patience for me. I would get frustrated.

However, when I realized what made her tick and what her preferred communications style was—including in emails, I was able to adapt. I know she is yellow, she is sunny. She likes to engage on a personal level and likes to be recognized. I make a point now, of using more words with her. Extending compliments and noticing important milestones for her.

As a result, I found myself relaxing and knowing what to expect when we worked together. It made it easier. And more fun. I wasn’t trying to fit her into my box and vice versa.

PEOPLE AS COLOURS

Once you start thinking about the people in your life as colours—it changes the game. It becomes fun to think about how you can best adapt to, and interact with, the various ‘colours’ in your own life—be it at home or work.

I was so excited about what I learned at the retreat, when I got back, I brought out my colour coded Nova index card at our staff Christmas dinner and it became a highlight of the party—guessing who was what colour.

We all eventually completed the Nova profile formally, so in the end there was no guessing. We could not only understand ourselves better, but also our colleagues and how we could work more effectively as a team. I love that type of self-improvement work. Tangible and easy to remember.

If you’re struggling with any interpersonal relationships and wondering what you can do, tools like the Nova Profile², can help you shift your perspective.

Self-reflection helps us understand our own tendencies, but the real breakthrough comes when we learn to recognize and adapt to others' communication styles.

Next time you find yourself frustrated by a conversation with someone, take a moment to consider what "colour" the other person might be.

Are they a detail-oriented Blue who needs facts and structure? A results-driven Red who values directness? A relationship-focused Green seeking connection? Or perhaps an enthusiastic Yellow craving engagement and recognition?

By identifying these patterns and adjusting your approach accordingly, what once felt like personality clashes can become opportunities for deeper understanding.

The simple act of meeting others where they are—rather than where you naturally operate—can turn workplace tensions into productive partnerships and family disagreements into meaningful dialogue.

Try seeing your world through this colourful lens—you might be surprised by how quickly it brightens.

(It's a practical life lesson that's stayed with me long after my working days. And I still have the handy Nova index card/cheat sheet as a reminder when needed.)

What say you? Let’s play.

1. What colour are you in your adapted state?

2. Think of someone you’re struggling to communicate with right now—what colour do you think they are?

3. Using the colourful guide above, what do you think you could do to help the conversation flow and be more productive?

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1. When I was raising my kids, back in the 90’s, there was one parenting book that I found very helpful, “How To Talk So Your Kids Will Listen and Listen So Your kids Will Talk,” by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. It gave you scripts and examples of how to use them with small children. I was shocked the first time I tried it and it actually worked. It changed the dynamic of the exchange and I couldn’t believe it. This Nova profile reminded me of that moment.

2. If you’re interested in learning more about the Nova profile, visit Nova Global.

Photo by Sharon Pittaway on Unsplash