This resonates. I'll add to this wonderful essay that people don't consider writing a job. It's a hobby-- like swimming or knitting. They've obviously never written.
That said, and I may have said this before, we are human beings, not doings. The quiet stillness is important. The weight of busy-ness we put on ourselves. For me, it's a fear of judgment.
This is why I don't set schedules. I need to know I have time to meditate or cuddle my dog on a whim.
With all the noise of this world, the constant influx of information, we need to protect our white space more than ever. I think more and more CEOs are going to be prioritizing doing nothing for larger parts of their days and weeks, as a rebellious and generative act against the deadening of humanity. When someone asks what you’re doing and your answer is Nothing! I hear that as a radical, necessary, deeply human act that is far more creative and vital than being busy. Bravo!!!
I love this, Kim - a small, quiet life. When we packed up 40+ years of living a fast-paced life in Arizona to move to a small rural town in Southern Oregon, friends and family thought we had lost our minds. I like to think that in losing our minds, we found something more.
When I'm coaching and self-coaching, I've asked my clients to name the voices that are harsh and diminishing. There's a bit more to it, but naming the voices and speaking to them helps quiet the noise and reveal them as falsehoods much more quickly than before.
You're so right Paulette. What has worked really well is asking "Grandma Kim" to come to the fore when the nasty ones get too noisy. That's worked like a charm. There's more to it than that, but I'm sure you know what I mean. ;)
Moved me. Kim, After three, no four careers: High School English teacher (best job ever--still in touch with students), personnel interviewer, editor and then head of PR for big industry, author, finally, professor -- and now still writing.
You made me think about my New Year's resolution for the novel I'm finishing; oddly it's a word:
My word is “resolve” –a musical term that I use in the novel I’m currently writing. In music theory—I’m no expert—it means the move of a note or chord from dissonance (an unstable sound) to a consonance—meaning a tone that needs resolution. I use this idea in my memoir https://marytabor.substack.com/s/remaking-love-a-memoir in the chapter entitled “Deceptive Cadence.”
My husband is a high-school teacher. He loves it too!
Resolve sounds like a perfect word for a new year. I might have to borrow it for the vision board I have to make for my flower workshop. (I have never done a vision board in my life and I'm a bit reluctant to start now, but I'm keeping an open mind and following the curriculum.) I'll check out the chapter you mention too.
I very much relate to this, Kim. ❤️ I've also spent the past couple years unlearning the need to be "doing" and just be. My goal now is my own inner peace.
I love this. Thank you. The two questions that send my brain into a rage are, "Are you retired?" (At 73, I don't get the question much anymore.) Defined how? From what? which was hard to answer. ('m glad I no longer get asked what I do. Now I say, "I've moved on to other things." Which I am happy to talk about. The second is, "What are you doing today?" The hell if I know! I'll know it when I see it, but I can't tell you right now. Like you, it leaves me totally flummoxed, and I don't have a good answer yet. "Taking a nap is all I know for sure"?
Right?! I’m not sure if I’m retired, so I’m never sure how to answer that question either! I’m not working at the corporate, crazy, burnout level anymore (and I won’t go back), but am I retired? No. I’m resting. Figuring out what’s next. :) Thanks for sharing Gretchen. I’m glad it resonated.
If retired means I can take an afternoon nap, I guess I am. But I'm much more interested in talking about what I do now, (a writer/author, NPS volunteer, hiker, grandmother, Airbnb owner...) and no one ever asks that question. (Well, except when they want to know what I'm doing in the next few hours.) I tried saying I'm "re-storyed," but that was met with blank stares. Retired is such a stupid word. Spread the word.
The antidote for “doing” is simply “being.” It’s takes a minute to get used to, to give yourself permission to just “be.” Reflection processing all your acquired wisdom takes time and in my experience better to have fewer things fighting for your attention. Ahhhh
This resonates. I'll add to this wonderful essay that people don't consider writing a job. It's a hobby-- like swimming or knitting. They've obviously never written.
That said, and I may have said this before, we are human beings, not doings. The quiet stillness is important. The weight of busy-ness we put on ourselves. For me, it's a fear of judgment.
This is why I don't set schedules. I need to know I have time to meditate or cuddle my dog on a whim.
Join you both in quiet moments
And nothing is better than cuddling my dog!
My dog and I concur! We just got back from a long walk and now he's happily snuggled at my feet as I write. They are the best.
With all the noise of this world, the constant influx of information, we need to protect our white space more than ever. I think more and more CEOs are going to be prioritizing doing nothing for larger parts of their days and weeks, as a rebellious and generative act against the deadening of humanity. When someone asks what you’re doing and your answer is Nothing! I hear that as a radical, necessary, deeply human act that is far more creative and vital than being busy. Bravo!!!
Hard to imagine that doing nothing is the radical move. But, it might be what helps restore our sanity. Thanks Kimberly.
I love this, Kim - a small, quiet life. When we packed up 40+ years of living a fast-paced life in Arizona to move to a small rural town in Southern Oregon, friends and family thought we had lost our minds. I like to think that in losing our minds, we found something more.
When I'm coaching and self-coaching, I've asked my clients to name the voices that are harsh and diminishing. There's a bit more to it, but naming the voices and speaking to them helps quiet the noise and reveal them as falsehoods much more quickly than before.
You're so right Paulette. What has worked really well is asking "Grandma Kim" to come to the fore when the nasty ones get too noisy. That's worked like a charm. There's more to it than that, but I'm sure you know what I mean. ;)
Oh, that’s perfect, Kim!
Moved me. Kim, After three, no four careers: High School English teacher (best job ever--still in touch with students), personnel interviewer, editor and then head of PR for big industry, author, finally, professor -- and now still writing.
You made me think about my New Year's resolution for the novel I'm finishing; oddly it's a word:
My word is “resolve” –a musical term that I use in the novel I’m currently writing. In music theory—I’m no expert—it means the move of a note or chord from dissonance (an unstable sound) to a consonance—meaning a tone that needs resolution. I use this idea in my memoir https://marytabor.substack.com/s/remaking-love-a-memoir in the chapter entitled “Deceptive Cadence.”
My husband is a high-school teacher. He loves it too!
Resolve sounds like a perfect word for a new year. I might have to borrow it for the vision board I have to make for my flower workshop. (I have never done a vision board in my life and I'm a bit reluctant to start now, but I'm keeping an open mind and following the curriculum.) I'll check out the chapter you mention too.
I very much relate to this, Kim. ❤️ I've also spent the past couple years unlearning the need to be "doing" and just be. My goal now is my own inner peace.
That's such a good goal. And much needed for many of us I'm sure. I'm glad it resonated Brieanna. Thanks for being here.
I love this. Thank you. The two questions that send my brain into a rage are, "Are you retired?" (At 73, I don't get the question much anymore.) Defined how? From what? which was hard to answer. ('m glad I no longer get asked what I do. Now I say, "I've moved on to other things." Which I am happy to talk about. The second is, "What are you doing today?" The hell if I know! I'll know it when I see it, but I can't tell you right now. Like you, it leaves me totally flummoxed, and I don't have a good answer yet. "Taking a nap is all I know for sure"?
Right?! I’m not sure if I’m retired, so I’m never sure how to answer that question either! I’m not working at the corporate, crazy, burnout level anymore (and I won’t go back), but am I retired? No. I’m resting. Figuring out what’s next. :) Thanks for sharing Gretchen. I’m glad it resonated.
If retired means I can take an afternoon nap, I guess I am. But I'm much more interested in talking about what I do now, (a writer/author, NPS volunteer, hiker, grandmother, Airbnb owner...) and no one ever asks that question. (Well, except when they want to know what I'm doing in the next few hours.) I tried saying I'm "re-storyed," but that was met with blank stares. Retired is such a stupid word. Spread the word.
The antidote for “doing” is simply “being.” It’s takes a minute to get used to, to give yourself permission to just “be.” Reflection processing all your acquired wisdom takes time and in my experience better to have fewer things fighting for your attention. Ahhhh